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Confidence

27 March 2014 By In Blog

How confident are you? Confidence is not the same as happiness but if you are confident in your appearance, attitude and ability, to an extent this may contribute to a certain level of happiness. Be aware by fixing things such as outward looks and appearances you can indeed give yourself a welcome boost of self-esteem, but if it is fear of being in certain situations and coping that affects your confidence then this is only a quick fix and not a long term solution to addressing your inner needs.

A wave of low self-esteem is affecting us from an early age. Nine out of ten teenage girls are unhappy with their bodies and are obsessed with looking like their favourite (mostly adult) celebrities. Four out of ten young girls have considered plastic surgery. Only eight per cent of girls as young as thirteen had no complaints about their figures. The trend for perfect slim figures and attractive facial features is making this generation of teenagers want a new body and personality before their own has fully grown and developed. It is not suprising that teenage girls are wanting to follow the way their mums are turning to plastic surgery as a means of 'fixing' the ageing process or to perhaps find a new look to feel better about their relationship or career. As an adult, it is personal choice as to finding the things that will work for you within the areas of your life that could need a little injection of esteem and confidence, it is not just looks that count.

Here are some self help tips to appearing calm and self-assured.

Stop negative comments in their tracks, before they take a hold on you. You can keep reminding yourself about the fact that you overheard someone at work commenting that your red bolero jacket you wore at the office party made you look like little red riding hood. This will make you doubt yourself and your ability to make a judgement. The person criticising you perhaps was envious of your confidence in wearing a bright colour and quietly they wish they could be like that, but it made them feel better to put you down. However if you feel silly that you wore it, next time you dress up, ask a good friends opinion before you go out.

Find out what your 'best bits' are. Think about situations where you have succeeded at something, Maybe it was giving a talk at work, or cooking a special dinner for ten guests. Think how you looked, how your attitude was and how you felt as you achieved these things. You had probably prepared for the event by making yourself look good and probably had spent some time checking what you needed to do to ensure you were successful. The people that were at your work presentation or dinner party will have a memory of you making them feel good and will remember the way you confidently handled the situation. They will not necessarily be that bothered if you had your teeth ultra whitened or your thighs liposuctioned. In other words appearance is important but it is not that alone that gives you the skills that you have.

In situations where you have to meet new unfamiliar people (weddings, work conferences, new job etc.) if you are feeling shy, nervous and unsure of what you are going to say, take some deeper slower breaths, which should divert your mind and help you to calm down. If your heart is still racing, when you are about to speak, pause and make eye contact with those you are talking to. Even if you do not say much, this shows that you are interested and are feeling confident. If you appear to look away or ignore people, it is possible they may think you are aloof and they will stop listening to your speech or will stop trying to make conversation with you. Also stop yourself from over talking to hide nerves. Listen to others, absorb their views and if you do not understand what they are saying , if appropriate, perhaps change the subject to something you can talk about.

Exercise has a two-fold effect on us. It will of course give us a toned, more attractive physique and will give us a rush of endorphins, which will improve our mood, and the way in which we view ourselves. Just five sessions of thirty minutes a week in a study conducted at the University of Ulster, showed this helped people feel better about their body image. Be confident about where you are heading with your image. Do not compare yourself to the pictures of celebrities, they may have spent many thousands of pounds on surgery and can afford it. Have a reality check, look around you, especially at the swimming pool ! This will give a real idea of how you are really shaping up! We are all able to find areas of our bodies that we like and dislike!

Above all smile and stand up tall, these two tips are the best confidence tricks of all, it means that you are ok with the world and it is ok with you!

Read 2469 times Last modified on Monday, 23 February 2015 17:22
Kathy Read

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